Frequently Asked Questions

We're interested in your Big Couples mentoring program, but we're not married. Can we still volunteer together?
Big Brothers Big Sisters understands intimate relationships are diverse, and couples might be in various stages of their relationship. We are looking for couples who have made a lifetime commitment to each other and want to volunteer their time together. We assess the volunteer abilities of each couple on a case-by-case basis. 

As a Big Couple, can we ever do an activity one-to-one with our Little?
Yes, but this program focuses on the Little benefiting from both mentors, most of the activities will include all three people. The kids in these matches will benefit from observing a positive marital relationship. 

We're ready to be a "Big Couple"! 

Can teenagers volunteer?
Yes. Our High School "Bigs" Program is designed especially for high school students at local area high schools. These volunteers want to be mentors to young kids. This offers students the chance to provide community service while enjoying being a mentor. 

What do I do as a High School "Big"?
You are matched with a Little Brother or Little Sister (elementary-aged) and you enjoy scheduled time together. You would help teach a character development curriculum to your "little". By being there and being their friend, you help younger kids gain a positive attitude and self-esteem. 

I'm ready to be a High School "Big"!

SCHOOL-BASED MENTORING PROGRAM 

Can businesses get involved in any of your mentoring programs?
Absolutely. We maintain partnerships with several area businesses, both small and large, like Frost Bank, UTHSC, and Our Lady of the Lake University. Associates from these businesses volunteer individually in our school-based program. This mentoring program works wonderfully to increase company unity and raise employee morale. 

How does this mentoring program work? 
In this program, associates from these companies volunteer to spend about an hour a week with a Little Brother or Little Sister at a grade school for the 9-month school year. Our case manager communicates with the volunteer and school professionals to assess how the mentoring relationship progresses. Kids benefit greatly from the time mentors spend with them.

Do I have to work on homework and tutor?
You do not have to remember algebra equations or subject-verb agreement. This relationship is based on spending time together. For an hour each week, the mentor engages the child in various activities such as: going over homework, talking, eating lunch together or reading together. Each volunteer brings unique qualities to the relationship as a mentor and the child benefits from having a role model. 

How many school-based mentors do you have?
At the end of this Fiscal Year (June 30, 2001), 75 school mentors were in place at the elementary schools. The agency has some very aggressive site-based growth goals in place for our upcoming year. We expect to have over 300 mentors spending quality time with our "littles". Our corporate partners will be the forces that help drive our mentor numbers. 

What are the requirements to volunteer?
All of our mentoring programs have the same one requirement: an earnest interest from the volunteer to make a difference in a kid's life. Volunteers complete the same application and interview with one of our staff. 

How will I get feedback if I'm doing a good job?
Our Big Brothers Big Sisters staff member will maintain regular contact with each volunteer to assess the volunteer's satisfaction and to make sure the relationship is progressing.

How will I know what to do weekly?
We will provide ideas, suggestions, and activities you can use when you meet with your Little Brother or Little Sister. 

What changes are expected from this school-based program?
We have found children with school-based mentoring relationships tend to do better than their peers in many areas. Their attendance goes up and they are graduated to the next grade level at higher rates. Kids in our mentoring program also improve their relationships with peers as well as authority figures. 

What do I do about questions/concerns?
Each volunteer is assigned to a case manager. She/he is the resource person for volunteers and helps track the students and their progress. This case manager makes contact with volunteers by phone or e-mail on a regular basis. The volunteer is welcome to call the office to speak with their case manager to discuss the particular situation and offer advice and support.

What happens after the school year? 
In some cases, the mentors and kids say "good-bye." However, depending on the age of the Little and the choice of the volunteer, they can return again the next year in the same mentoring relationship. Volunteers can choose to return for another year with the same Little, be matched with another Little or elect to volunteer in one of our other mentoring programs. 

Can I interact with the children outside of the school?
No. In our school-based mentoring program, all activities take place in the school setting. However, on occasion, we might organize an activity for all the mentors and Littles from one school during summer break. 

Do the schools want this?
Absolutely! We have more demand than mentors. The school officials, the parent and the student all must want to be in the program. Although we target the kids in the school who would benefit most, all of these parties must agree with the young person's participation in the program. 

I'm ready to be a "Big " in the School Mentor Program!

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THE KIDS WE SERVE

Who are the kids you serve at Big Brothers Big Sisters?
The children are from 7-14 years old and live in single-parent homes throughout San Antonio and surrounding areas. Whether it's from death or divorce, many of these kids are lacking the adult role modeling they need and are at-risk for certain behaviors. These children are not "placed" with us. 

What does "at-risk" mean?
Children from single-parent homes often grow up feeling hopeless and angry and may resort to high-risk behaviors that often set them on a course of self-destruction. One in four children are growing up in single-parent homes, often lonely and depressed, without adequate opportunities to be engaged by adults in positive activities and social relationships. The experts tell us the wide variety of factors can be overcome. Big Brothers Big Sisters has proven results that show mentors are essential for a child's success in achieving in spite of these challenges. 

Where do the kids come from? What are their backgrounds?
Most of our children are from single-parent homes, low to middle income level and live everywhere in our four-county service area. Many have siblings in the home, so a family might have two or three children receiving services from Big Brothers Big Sisters. Our children vary in age, ethnicity, and nationality. 

How old are the children you serve?
Big Brothers Big Sisters begins serving kids once they reach seven years old. We will match them in mentoring relationships through their late teen years, and stop monitoring these services at their 18th birthday, or when they graduate or receive a GED. However, we must stop taking applications from youth when they turn 14. Why? We'd like to give the mentor an opportunity to spend some time with the child before the age of 18. 

How long do children wait to be matched to a Big?
There are currently over 250 kids on a waiting list and about 90% of them are boys who have no father or male role models in their lives. Boys typically wait 1-2 years before they get a Big Brother because we have a shortage of male volunteers. Girls do not wait as long as boys because there are not as many of them placed in the program by parents.

Where do you get the kids? How do they find out about the agency?
Their parents hear about the program the same way volunteers do and come to us on a voluntary basis. Media. Word of mouth. Other social service agencies. School counselors, teachers and administrators. There will always be children in our communities who could benefit from having a mentor. 

Are these kids in trouble with the law? 
No. Our program is a prevention model. Some simply have a poor self-esteem, while others face issues like poor school attendance. These kids just need an extra friend. 

What other types of issues do these kids face?
Our kids might be at-risk for dropping out of school or hanging out with the "wrong crowd." They might not do well in social situations, or could have trouble relating to their peers. Some possess sibling rivalry, while others just feel lonely. It is tough to be a kid today. Having a mentor to look up to and talk with makes the journey a little easier. 

Do I have a choice in the child I want to mentor?
We match mentors with youth based on a variety of things. Our professional staff considers the strengths offered by the volunteer and the needs of each child. We look at personality types, interests, family history and life goals. With the professional assessment of our staff and the fine-tuned method of matching, we ensure the mentoring relationship will be successful and lasting. 

Do the parents pay for this service?
No. Big Brothers Big Sisters offers its volunteer and professional services at no cost to the parent. 

How do you enroll a child?
It's easy. A parent can call, e-mail, fill out our online application, or fax our agency. We will talk to the parent about the criteria for being involved and the parent completes an application. After the parent has been oriented and we have received the child's application, a case manager interviews the parent and child. The child then goes on the Wait List until we have found the right mentor. 

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THE VOLUNTEER PROCESS

What are the volunteer steps?
First, we must receive your application. We begin to process the paperwork, including sending your four references a short questionnaire about you. For community-based mentors, we will also check your background and driving record. This ensures we match the safest volunteers with our kids. Then, a staff member will call you to set up a time to interview or schedule the personality profile. 

For school-based mentors, we interview at our office or company. We'll ask you questions about your background, hobbies and life goals - this helps us know you better and match you with a Little Brother or Little Sister. Then your application is reviewed by our screening committee. Once accepted, our staff begins the matching process of connecting you to a child who needs a mentor.

[ Getting Started ]

How long does the process take?
It depends on each phase of the process. Usually, once your application is in our office, the process only takes four to eight weeks.

How do you check a volunteer's background?
The state runs the report on a volunteer's background. This is nothing to fear. We are working with kids and we put their health and safety first. The background report will provide information that would alert us if someone desires to volunteer with the wrong intentions.

Why do you need a copy of my drivers' license and auto liability card?
Except for our school-based mentoring program, you will probably transport the Little Brother or Little Sister in your automobile. Our national organization requires us to have proof of your driving ability and coverage on file. 

What do you ask references about me?
We are only afforded few opportunities to learn about you. In order to make the best possible match for you in our mentoring programs, this information is crucial. Your supervisor and three friends will know you well. We ask them to tell us about you and the characteristics/strengths they think you can offer as a mentor. This step holds up applications from progressing. Tell your references they need to return the questionnaire promptly so you can complete the process quickly. 

My references are out of town. Can you contact them?
Yes. We send the questionnaire by mail or fax. We are prepared to receive it back by those methods, too. Once again, the sooner they complete it, the sooner you will progress through the volunteer process. 

What questions does the interviewer ask me?
This professional asks questions about you, your history and background, your job and hobbies - generally your life. We promise you will know the answers better than anyone! This information will give us an idea of who you are and the strengths you could offer to a Little Brother or Little Sister. Knowing as much about you helps us make a great match.

Why do you visit my home?
For community-based relationships, we want to ensure it is a safe and child-appropriate place. After your case manager determines your Little Brother or Little Sister is ready, the child might spend some time in your home. This will be an unfamiliar place to the child and we want to ensure he or she will feel comfortable. 

When do I meet my Little?
After the volunteer matching process is complete, a case manager will call you to set up an introduction at the home of the child. You will meet the Little and family members. The professional will cover some details about the relationship, and you will spend some time with your Little. After that, you begin planning activities on your own. 

For school-based mentors, we will set up an introduction to the Little at the school. We will then work with the mentor to find the right times during the week that the little can meet with the volunteer.

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THE MENTORING RELATIONSHIP
("COMMUNITY-BASED")

What activities do you do with a Little?
It's not what you do, it's that you spend time together. The relationship is built on getting to know each other and creating a supportive friendship. This volunteer experience allows you to incorporate the Little into your schedule. On a Saturday, maybe you plan to pick up dry cleaning, go wash the car, run by the grocery and take in an afternoon movie … just take your little along with you. It's that easy!

What are some typical activities?
Playing a sport. Watching a movie. Playing video games. Enjoying a museum. Seeing a game. Running errands. Performing a community service. Flying a kite. Taking a walk in the park. Visiting the library. Visiting your work place. The activities vary according to the interests of you and your Little. 

Do I have to spend a lot of money?
No. In fact, we encourage free and low-cost activities … we do not want your volunteer experience to become a financial burden. We even encourage the parent to provide means for the child, when possible. The agency is strongly supported by the community … we usually have Spurs tickets during the season, movie passes, bowling passes, tickets to the Children's Series at the Majestic, etc. All free tickets/passes are on a first come first served basis … all you need to do is check in with your case manager on a regular basis and we'll be happy to reserve your tickets/passes. It's that easy!

What if I run out of activity ideas?
We're here to help and support you. At your volunteer training, you will receive a page and a half full of ideas that have been culled over the years. Check your newsletter for Special Events for matches. We even have a recorded FunLine to call after business hours with upcoming events and activities. 

How often do I get together with my little?
We encourage mentors to meet with their Little Brother or Little Sister weekly. This might be a quick bite to eat one weeknight, or maybe a few hours on Sunday. The consistency in the relationship is what counts! 

How long do most matches last?
We only ask for a one-year commitment in most of our mentoring programs. We find, however, many matches last longer. Our average mentoring relationship lasts two years. 

How do you match?
A volunteer and child are "matched" based on common interests and location in the city. Once there is a possible match, an agency caseworker evaluates the ages, interests, and personalities of the Big and Little to see if they will "fit" together. When they have been introduced and have begun their new relationship, they are a "match."

Do you match me with a child of my own race?
We pair up mentors and youth based on a successful relationship - one that provides positive, supportive friendship and offers benefits for the young person. We look for mentors who are open, flexible, and diverse. However, we do lack in numbers of African-American and Hispanic mentors for Little Brothers and Little Sisters.

What type of relationship will I have with her/his parent?
The parent's role in the relationship is essential for success. This parent must support the mentoring relationship. You will schedule with the parent regarding outings. She might share information about her child's school, grades or siblings. You will both have the youth's best interest at heart, and most conversations will revolve around the Little Brother or Little Sister. 

What happens when I'm on vacation, TDY, or on extended travel for work?
Your relationship continues, just like any other. Although you won't see your Little when you vacation or travel for business, you still maintain contact. A phone call or postcard when you're away will seem to shorten the time until you return. 

How is a match supported?
Our agency ensures each mentoring relationship receives support from a trained professional. Your case manager will provide guidance during your match, and can offer direction concerning the relationship, activities, and goals. 

How do I get feedback of how I'm doing?
Your case manager will tell you the ways you're helping as the relationship progresses. Contacting your case manager regularly, by phone or e-mail, helps you feel good about the positive experience you are having in your mentoring relationship. 

What if something comes up in my match I am not sure how to handle? What do I do?
This is the point where your case manager is essential. She or he has the training and education to deal with issues arising from the relationship. The case manager can offer tips, direct you to training, or even refer the youth to other services, if necessary. Remember, you are just a friend, a mentor. We do not expect you to be a case manager, child psychologist or superhero. 

Can my spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend do activities with me and my Little?
Again, our focus is on the one-to-one relationship between mentor and youth. Although your Little will become comfortable with you, that might not be so if another person is consistently along. However, our Big Couples program do incorporate two adults. These programs might suit your lifestyle better. 

Can my children come on outings with me and my Little?
We discourage volunteers from including their own children in all their activities. This allows the mentoring relationship to be unique and does not raise issues like jealousy or rejection.

What if my Little and I don't hit it off?
We encourage mentors to wait on assessing the match until the relationship develops. Trust and friendship will not be built on your second outing. Our professionals have done a thorough job of creating your mentoring relationship and their experience provides the basis for pairing people. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time our matches work. When they do not, we work to ensure we create another situation where everyone feels positive. 

Can I take my Little to my parent's home, a friend's party or to a church activity?
At some point in the relationship, special activities like these might be appropriate. Your case manager will assess when the time is right for the youth and the relationship, then you will move to this next level. Some children need more time to feel comfortable in these situations, so always refer to your case manager. 

Can the Little come to my house?
Again, the case manager will determine the most appropriate time in your relationship for beginning home visits. Your Little might not have the same home environment you do, and your professional will assess when the time is right for your Little to be invited to your home. It's really all about the child's comfort and developmental level. 

When does the relationship stop? Why?
We hope we have created a friendship that can last a long time. Mentoring does not have a time frame, even though we only ask for a one-year commitment in most cases. However, people move away, life changes take place, other issues arise, - relationships end for a variety of reasons. In addition, once a child in our program turns 18 or graduates, we cease monitoring the match. In many cases, the mentor and youth occasionally keep in contact. 

If my relationship with my Little Brother or Little Sister stops, can I be matched to another?
Yes. After mentoring one youth, you can develop another mentoring relationship. We will take you back through the process and find another young person who will benefit from having you as a Big Brother or Big Sister. 

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